I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
why does every cop we meet know your name?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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