Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
