So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
