batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize