My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
