Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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