last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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