I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
