don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
