I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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