You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
