i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
