The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
