Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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