Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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