i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
