i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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