so let's talk penis.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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