I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
