Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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