So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
