Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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