She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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