Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
