Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
