i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
