okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
