with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
