first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
