so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
