He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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