Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
