I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
