Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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