Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My balls are so social today.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
