singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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