i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
