Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
