I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
