she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
