How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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