Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
