Cold hands, warm shart.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
