Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Boobs are out for the taking
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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