Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize