the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
