He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
