i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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