What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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