I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
