You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
