I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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