My brain says no but my pants say off.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
