i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
