thus making me awesome and them whores
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
