So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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