your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
