I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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