Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
