She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
