He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize