Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
