so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
