The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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